please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
