I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
