Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
