she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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