He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
