plz talk dirty to me
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
