i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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