South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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