one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
