you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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