And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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