Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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