Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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