I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
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they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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