I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
