Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
