Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
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