With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
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