he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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