Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
