He disabled his match.com account in front of me
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
