...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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