I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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