You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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