The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize