my vag is so smooth its legendary
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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