I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
