didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
