we're blogging at a bar
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
