The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
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