using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I think people are normalizing furries
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
