i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
