Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
is it fun? or sober?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
