I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
