There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
