this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
