you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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