it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Damn victory sex feels great
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
