Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
