In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
