is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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