I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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