what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
