She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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