Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
