I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
