im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
