would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
