he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
