I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
