i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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