Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
