And the cops told us we were all naked.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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