Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
