you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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