Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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