I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
