i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
