By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
