Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
