PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
