im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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